I had my second appointment with my midwife this afternoon.

I was running a bit late which made me feel really horrible, because I hate to be late for any reason. I called to let them know and the nurse sounded annoyed, but when I got there they said it was no problem and thanked me for calling ahead.

I had to pee in a cup, which I did first because I had to go! And then they took my blood presure (110/70) and weighed me in. I came in a a dead even 147. That is a gain of 6 pounds total. I'm worried about large weight gain because I don't want it to get out of hand. I know that realisticly I'll gain 20-30 pounds, but being 160-170 is not something I'd like to be again, reguarless of how fast I'll loose it. I've been keeping up with walking on the treadmill and maintaining a routine at the gym though.

When she was listening to the heartbeat there was a thud and apparently that was the baby kicking! She asked me prior to listening if I had felt any kicks yet, but I haven't. She said it would feel like being lightly flicked from the inside. When she was searching for the heartbeat there was a loud thud and she asked if I had felt it, but I didn't feel anything. It's exciting to know that the babe is being so active!

My uterus is right where it should be for 15 weeks, between my pubic bone and belly button. I did ask about the pulling and she said it was round ligament pain and that as long as there is no prolonged cramping or bleeding that I shouldn't worry. I also asked why I'm so rounded above my belly button. The baby obviously isn't that high up. She said it was because of the relaxin my body is producing. It's making things a little softer is all. She said it's nothing to worry about.

She said that a lot. We talked a lot about my fears after we discussed genetic testing. I'm declining blood work to determine abnormalities because in all honesty we will love this child no matter what. And if there is something wrong with him or her, I don't want to spend the next 5 months worrying about it. I know that it could prepare me for what's to come, but I worry enough as it is. My midwife supports my decision not to find out and said that the next ultrasound can detect abnormalities if I change my mind. We talked a lot about my fears because of my brother's unexplained physical and mental disadvantages from birth-now. She understands now why I'm so worried but thinks I need to relax and enjoy being pregnant.

I didn't get to schedule the ultrasound because it has to be preapproved by my insurance so they will call me in a week to schedule it. My next prenatal appointment in December 8th and I'll be 18w5d. I'm going to try to schedule the ultrasound before we leave for Kentucky on the 18th, but if I can't then I'll do it the week leading up to Christmas. It won't give us time to order gifts to share the sex, but I can make them or try to find them at a store (though shopping last minute is not my idea of fun!). It's all fun stuff though.

All in all I'm doing well and the baby is growing fine. My midwife is pleased with the heartbeat and movement of the baby and says I'm "perfect" and not to let anyone tell me otherwise.